


Between Life and Death

by hazzarat



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Post-Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, im so sorry, unashamed callbacks to s1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24792415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazzarat/pseuds/hazzarat
Summary: The fight moves fast, every hit striking like a bullet and his vision becomes hazy from the pace of it all. They stay fighting, moving the demons between themselves as they get banished by Magnus’ magic or struck through their flesh. Their blades stay drawn, piercing through thick hide. There’s ichor on the ground. It seeps into the cracks in the concrete like oil, soon the smell becoming overwhelming, clinging to their clothes and hair.Alec knows Magnus must be kicking himself for wearing his favourite boots now and he pushes down a small smile at that, refocusing on the fight./He lowers his head, pressing his forehead against Alec’s blanket-covered thigh. His lips are quivering and he can’t help but release the shaky sob that spills from his mouth.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 111





	Between Life and Death

**Author's Note:**

> Big, big thank you to my absolutely wonderful best friends and the betas of all of my newer fics! Check out their incredible works because without them these fics would never have reached anywhere near the standard they are now!
> 
> [steviesbucks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviesbucks) [showzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/showzen)
> 
> ily both <3 <3

It’s all a blur. The cold night air is alive with the metallic sounds of clashing blades and the grunts of blows taken. They’re in an alleyway- walls high and litter strewn on the ground underneath their feet. Even after they’d faced down a large handful of the Raveners, there's still at least ten demons filling the alley. Their skeletal legs scuttle across the concrete, creating a cacophony of unsettling noises.

The scuttling sounds behind him and Alec spins, seraph blade puncturing the back of the demon. It turns to ash and he moves, lunging forwards to swipe at the next demon as it approaches Clary. She nods at him in thanks before sprinting to help Jace. Around him, he can hear the tell-tale sounds of his family fighting alongside him. Hears the crack of Isabelle’s whip as it hits its target and the witty remark from Jace as Magnus steals his kill. The brick walls glow red, then the screech of a demon echoes around them as it gets banished.

Alec smirks at Magnus, who’s moved to stand next to him. “Well done,” He says as he drives his blade into another demon, sidestepping it’s flailing legs and whip-like tail. 

Magnus smiles back a smile full of fire, glamour down and his eyes ablaze, “More like medium-rare.” He glances at Alec, whose smirk has turned into a full grin at the returned quip.

“Less flirting, more fighting,” Izzy calls from the other end of the alley, voice smooth. She pulls a demon close with her whip then plunges her blade through its hide.

Alec rolls his eyes- as if he’d allow himself to get distracted that much from a bit of harmless flirting.

They weren’t expecting an attack tonight, especially not of this size. Instead, they’d been out for a meal. A late celebratory dinner to their new age of supposed peace, when a piercing scream had taken the laughter from their wine-stained lips. Blades drawn and magic brought forth to protect the owner of the scream -a young mundane girl surrounded by vicious demons. Alec is without his bow, having only brought a spare seraph blade for precaution in case of events like this. 

The fight moves fast, every hit striking like a bullet and his vision becomes hazy from the pace of it all. They stay fighting, moving the demons between themselves as they get banished by Magnus’ magic or struck through their flesh. Their blades stay drawn, piercing through thick hide. There’s ichor on the ground. It seeps into the cracks in the concrete like oil, soon the smell becoming overwhelming, clinging to their clothes and hair.

Alec knows Magnus must be kicking himself for wearing his favourite boots now and he pushes down a small smile at that, refocusing on the fight. Alec reaches up to swipe a trail of ichor away from his hairline then ducks forwards into the path of a demon swaying its tail violently at Izzy. In one swift move he drives his blade into its stomach and with one last feeble flick of its tail, it pushes him back into the wall with a dull thud. His breath gets knocked out of him and ichor spurts from the wound before the creature dissolves. He lets out a low groan, tilting his head enough to watch Izzy kill the final demon with a sharp crack of her whip. She lets the whip slither its way back around her wrist before she turns to him with a smug smile.

He smiles his patented big-brother-smile at her before his eyes turn calculating. He looks her up and down and mentally catalogues any injuries. He goes to run his hand through his hair but grimaces at the ichor coating his hands.

For a moment the alley stands still, all remaining quiet as if expecting another demon to jump out from the shadows. Then, Jace lets out a loud, barking laugh and the tension dispels. 

“What are you even laughing at?” Clary questions him, shoulders tense from the fight, her kindjals gripped at her sides.

Jace doesn’t reply, just continues laughing deeply, forearms braced against his knees as Izzy kicks at him with her heeled boots.

Alec shakes his head at their antics, calling out, “Injuries? You all good?” To which he receives nods and affirmative statements (and a thumbs up from Jace, who is beginning to calm down from his laughing fit).

Alec moves to stand, to meet Magnus who is striding towards him. He has a small smile on his face and a tear through the sleeve of his expensive jacket. Alec frowns, worry building in his chest. He pushes off, one arm braced behind him as he regains his balance. The world seems to sway for a moment but he shakes it off and regains his composure. He meets Magnus’ worried gaze but shakes his head, a small dopey smile on his face. 

Magnus reaches his side after a moment and places one ring-clad hand on his arm. He lowers his voice, so as to not disturb the others, “Are you alright? Don’t think I didn’t see that.” 

“See what? I’m fine.”

Magnus goes to speak, brows furrowed, “Ale-”

“I’m fine, Mags,” He spreads his arms wide and does a little bow which brings the smile back onto Magnus’ face. They stand there for a few moments before he reaches out and drags his thumb across the tear in the rich red fabric of Magnus’ coat, “Are you ok?”

At this Magnus’ frown only gets deeper, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to him. He waves a flippant hand before it lands cotton-soft on Alec’s jaw. “It’s nothing more than a tear,” He says, eyes searching and piercing even with the glamour back on. 

Alec nods reluctantly, pressing a quick kiss to Magnus’ forehead (who cares if he was aiming for his temple?). Then pulls himself out of their little bubble, striding over to where his siblings and Clary are standing. Clary’s dress has a tear and a large amount of ichor covering it but they seem fine. That and the slight cut on Izzy’s face seem to be the worst of it.

He opens his mouth to check on them when his vision goes blurry, the edges dark and his balance off. He sways on his feet for a moment, before a piercing pain in his stomach has him crying out. He presses shaky fingers against it, before pulling them up to look at the wet substance coating them.

His knees buckle, blood and ichor mixing on his hand and Magnus’ terrified shout ringing in his ears.

-

Time seems to slow down as Magnus sprints towards the collapsing figure of his boyfriend. He drops to his knees, uncaring of the state his trousers will surely be in, catching Alec before he reaches the floor. He cradles broad shoulders as he begins running glowing magic across Alec’s prone form. 

“Come  _ on _ , Alexander.” The words claw their way out of his throat, pure desperation coating each syllable, ”Hold on, that’s it.” He produces a wavering smile when Alec’s hazel eyes open, wanting to comfort him. He does so even as he tries to calm the whirlpool forming in his own stomach.

He keeps sending gentle waves of blue magic across the wound on Alexander’s stomach, whilst his other hand runs through soft hair. Magnus watches as Alec squeezes his eyes shut, mouth contorting at the pain. He goes to speak but a pained moan comes out instead, startlingly loud in the quiet alley and slicing at Magnus’ heart.

“Shh, shh, Alexander. I’ve got you.”

“Magnus…”

Magnus draws him closer, magic swirling out around his hand. “Jace,” his voice sounding foreign even to himself, “I need you to help me hold him down.”

“We need to get back to the Institute!” Jace replies, voice sounding miles away.

Magnus pulls himself away from Alec, staring at Jace with a hard gaze. “And we will, but we cannot move him until he’s somewhat stable. If we don’t, we run the risk of the venom getting too far into his system.”

He sees Jace give a shaky nod across from him before the blond man steels himself. Magnus understands how difficult this must be for him. Not only is he seeing his brother in such a vulnerable position but can feel the distress firsthand. 

Together, they shift Alec so that he’s laying down on the alley floor. He grits his teeth at Alec’s pained cry, the noise reverberating around them. Magnus can see complete anguish in Jace’s eyes at the sight of his  _ parabatai _ writhing around on the ground in agony. 

Magnus focuses his attention back onto the deep wound, ichor and blood coating the shirt Alec is wearing. He spares a moment to think of proprietary before vanishing the shirt , allowing him to see the wound fully. 

He hears Isabelle’s devastated gasp at the sight, but for once, he finds himself without the words to comfort her.

The wound is deep; a large gash that spans the entire left side of his stomach. The skin around it is blistering, large pieces already beginning to peel away from the venom. It seems to sizzle, the flesh eating away at itself as the venom crawls deeper and deeper into his system. Alec’s chest is hardly moving, a barely there inhale-exhale and his eyes are fluttering behind closed eyelids. 

Magnus can feel panic slowly creeping up in his chest, its spidery hand gripping his throat and  _ squeezing. _

Jace lays one forearm across Alec’s chest, the other pressing into Alec’s hip to keep him in place. He takes a deep breath before looking Magnus in the eyes, signalling for him to start. 

He raises his hands and pushes as much power as he can into the magic surrounding Alec. He reaches out and presses until he can feel the venom flowing through his bloodstream. There’s the faint tickle of sweat beading on his hairline, the air warm from the crackling magic. He keeps going, working fast and ignoring Alec’s cries and Jace’s swearing as he keeps Alec pinned. Ignores the sobbing of Isabelle behind him and the quiet, soothing words from Clary. His mind stays focused on stabilising his boyfriend. His magic is both calming and razor-sharp and he knows it won’t settle until he knows Alec is safe.

Eventually, Alec’s pained cries peter out and Jace no longer has to put as much energy into holding him down. Magnus continues and with a sigh of relief, he notes that Alec’s breathing has evened out into a steady rhythm. He places one last stasis spell over Alec, ensuring he’ll stay stable for as long as it takes them to move him to the Institute’s medical wing.

Magnus watches Jace pull back enough to trace an Iratze on Alec’s hip. Now that the venom's path has slowed, they can activate the rune to heal some of the exterior damage.

He looks up, Jace’s mismatched eyes meeting his own and nods once. He knows that every emotion, every fear, is reflecting in his own eyes. He gets a panic-stricken nod back in return and they manoeuvre Alec into a sitting position. Magnus kneels up, gathering his magic and summoning a portal. The sudden wind whips at their hair and tugs at their clothing.

Alec’s eyes open once more, dazed and glossy, and he mumbles something unintelligible before they close again. Alec’s head flops to the side, listless, and the sight hurts Magnus. He takes a fortifying breath before helping Jace lift Alec up quickly enough that they’re carrying him between them. He can hear Clary behind them, the clink of metal against metal as she gathers up their fallen weapons. She’s speaking softly; her words kind as she gently calms Isabelle down from her distraught sobbing.

He and Jace stride into the portal first, Alec between them, knowing that even though he’s stable for the moment, time is still of the essence.

-

Magnus prides himself on not being an idiot. He’s observant enough to know  _ exactly _ what it looks like to the rest of the Shadowhunters at the Institute. The four of them crashing through a portal, with frantic, wide eyes and their leader bleeding profusely from a stomach wound. Every single one of them covered in ichor, blood and dust. The normally immaculate Isabelle is tear-streaked and her perfect makeup smudged around her eyes. Their evening clothes ripped and torn and Alec shirtless, gaping wound there for all to see.

Jace remains next to him, immediately barking orders in a glass-sharp voice. There’s a sudden flurry of action as the Shadowhunters make space and a gurney wheeled in. Magnus’ focus remains entirely on Alec’s pale face as he rushes with them to the medical wing, Jace, Clary and Isabelle on their heels. The Infirmary is bright and sharp smelling in a way that makes him feel instantly on edge. Alexander lays on the gurney, tall form looking pale and wilted. The medic there immediately jumps up at the sudden burst of people.

“High Warlock Bane,” The medic greets curtly, already producing a stele and bandages. “What happened?”

He can hear the telltale click of Isabelle’s heels behind him, the faint muttering between Jace and Clary.

“An unfortunate, unexpected Ravener attack. Got him with the tail, I’m afraid.” His casual words do nothing to belie the intense panic he feels take root in his stomach.

The medic goes to speak, but he interrupts her with a single glittering hand in the air. “I stabilised his condition as well as I could at the time and a stasis spell was placed on the venom. With your kind assistance - I can fix this.”

The medic bows her head once, allowing him access to the man lying in front of them. He immediately brings his magic to the surface. He glances up once to see Isabelle staring at him from the other side of the cot. Jace walks over and joins her, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. Magnus notices that Clary is no longer with them but doesn’t allow himself much thought of it. Turning back to Alec, the calm blue of his magic skirts across his palms, leaving a sickly glow on Alec’s skin.

No longer in a dirty alley, Magnus allows himself to put his full focus into healing his Alexander. The faint chatter from the medics behind him blends into the background and he focuses.

-

It's quiet now. The frenzied energy that had filled the Institute earlier has died down to a faint buzz. It’s the middle of the night, although Magnus knows that if he checks, it’s likely closer to the morning. 

Most of the Shadowhunters had headed out for the late-night patrols or into their own rooms for much-needed sleep - Alec’s siblings included. Magnus hadn’t been able to do so, however, having stayed next to his boyfriend due to his continued discomfort at Alec’s shaky condition. Some Shadowhunter’s had sent suspicious glares towards him, unwilling to let him stay in their midst. The glowers from both Jace and Isabelle had forced them to settle.

So instead Magnus stays, unable to do anything but send his magic towards Alec. Healing the wound bit-by-bit and leaching the pain away. 

He’d used a significant amount of magic to ensure that Alec’s condition stayed stable. The wound had been too deep and the venom too far gone into his system to make the healing simple. He healed as much as he could but the medics had insisted on keeping him under. Saying to allow the magic and the runes they’d drawn on his body to heal the wound slowly.

That was hours ago and now, in the night-time silence of the Institute, he sits alone in a medical room and holds onto his Alexander’s hand. He looks at the hand in his, paler and sturdier, and lets the fear that had gripped his heart free. He takes a shaky breath as he looks at the ghost-white complexion of his Shadowhunters face. He looks more peaceful than he had earlier, Magnus notes. He reaches out with a trembling ring-clad finger, tracing it across heavy brows and down the crooked bridge of a nose. 

The attack has been another wakeup call; it’s taken hold of him and has reminded him of the fleeting time he has with Alec. Reminded of Alexander’s mortality in the most dreadful of ways, he can feel himself beginning to finally lose control. He presses his thumb onto Alec’s lower lip before bringing it down to join his other. He’s helpless to do anything but allow his eyes to water so he grips tighter to the slack hand he holds.

He lowers his head, pressing his forehead against Alec’s blanket-covered thigh. His lips are quivering and he can’t help but release the shaky sob that spills from his mouth. He clutches his free hand against his mouth, knuckles knife-sharp that threaten to slice through his skin. He nestles further against Alec’s thigh, not wanting to look back at Alec’s face and seeing it so lifeless. His face turns involuntarily and he breaks. All he can see is pale cheeks and dark bruises beneath closed eyes. 

The dam floods. 

He’s heaving gasping sobs against his fist. He breaks; alone, sat in cold white light in the middle of the night. There’s no one around to hear his sobs, no one to witness the tears that spill down his cheeks. There’s no one here to see the  _ great Magnus Bane _ break completely and uncontrollably.

He shifts impossibly closer to Alexander's prone, cold form. In the silence, he whispers, voice hoarse, “You have to get better, Alec. Have to fight-” His words break off into another sob which is just as terrible as the last. He doesn’t bother wiping the tears away. Why should he? There’s no one here to stare at the rivers on his cheeks.

“You have to fight, Alexander, because I am not losing you again.” 

His heart still hurts from their recent arguments. Still feels torn in two from the anger that had taken root between them-the feelings of betrayal. His heart remains a fragile place. The last few weeks have been working towards patching the cavernous rift their break had created. But now, faced with his love’s mortality and pain, those shaky bridges had broken apart and fallen. 

He had sworn to himself he would do everything he could to never let that happen again. Had promised to work through their problems together and to never, ever let go again. 

So he grips tighter, cries harder and hopes with everything he has. He sits alone in a white room; the only person that could make it better laid out in front of him, toeing the line between life and death.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave kudos and comments, they absolutely make my day. If you feel like it, I'd love for you to check out my other works! :D
> 
> I've been watching Shadowhunters since the second season premiered and only now have I actually written something for one of my absolute favourite ships! I hope you like it! :D
> 
> Feel free to send me asks on my tumblr (same name) with prompts! Thank you so much!


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